If I did bumper stickers I would put this one on my van

Did you know?

Did you know that if you allow the water from a sprinkler shoot through the fabric of your bathing suit air fills the fabric? I didn't know that. The girls figured it out the other day. It was super funny to them, and to Laura and I who watched. Simple summer fun. I love it.

Wednesday

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." - Theodore Roosevelt

Well what do I have? A messy house, unfolded laundry, paperwork to fill out, homework growing, deadlines to meet, a new diet, and tired muscles.

What can I do? Stop complaining for one!

Where I am? In the middle of life, which if one watches the news for more than one minute "in the middle of life" is a good place to be, all things considered.

finger prints

"Can we make foot prints and hand prints with the paint?"

me: "Ok but do it out side"

Clearly Evelyn got carried away with the paint. Allison loves getting messy and making messes but HATES to clean them up, as you can see in her expression.

Ok Why won't the pictures turn? I save them in the computer turned but then when I try and upload them they turn back. Does anyone know how to fix this?

Inspired

I will admit it was in a funk that I found the following inspiration. I was just tapped out. I was sobbing listening to Enya and surfing the web when I came across this website called ZenHabits. I read the following story and it touched a part of me.

The first time I was in Sweden, one of my colleagues picked me up at the hotel every morning. It was September, bit cold and snowy. We would arrive early at the company and he would park far away from the entrance (2000 employees drive their car to work). The first day, I didn’t say anything, either the second or third. One morning I asked, “Do you have a fixed parking space? I’ve noticed we park far from the entrance even when there are no other cars in the lot.” To which he replied, “Since we’re here early we’ll have time to walk, and whoever gets in late will be late and need a place closer to the door. Don’t you think? Imagine my face.

And so it is with this in mind I begin my day. Simple kindness being my goal.

some days

Some days are great and other are less than ideal and then there are the other days....like the one today. It is a completely even day. At first I took it to be a bad day but as the day has revealed itself it is just even.

Not too much has been going on. Boot Camp is continuing to kick my butt in a good way. I need to go to bed earlier though because I am wiped out. I wish I could do at least one sit up but the boot camp guy assures me that it will come. Everyone else in the class can do at least 25 at this point.

Jack has a friend over and they have mostly played XBox. I feel like maybe they should be doing something else, something more, but they are happy and it is hot.

Evelyn and I sat down to organize the Lego's. I am not sure the appeal in that activity but it has one. We are on a break.

I made yummy iced coffee and am quite proud of myself. I know it is a basic thing but in the past when I have attempted it, it tastes like gross water. Even Allison my little coffee connoisseur gave it a thumbs up.

So this is a fairly boring update, but I just felt like writing.

Skunk

I suppose owning a dog lends itself to the inevitability that one day you will be washing skunk smell off your dog. It was quite comical. The tomato sauce had a mild improvement. He still has skunk smell but it no longer transfers....you can pet him and not get skunk smell on you. The furniture and carpets are safe, however he still smells bad. I will have to try something else tomorrow. This morning I began the day with a hike up the blue hills with my boot camp. It was a bonus activity. Jack came with me, Charlie too. They were to be my cover if I needed to lag behind, but they both put me to shame, often in front of me. We climbed the red dot trail, the observation tower and came back down the hill in 50 mins. I thought I was going to pass out at one point but mostly I kept up. I was the last one up and the last one down but I did it. Boot camp has only been a week but I already feel that thing everyone has told me for years, about exercising. It makes you feel good-more energy. I do need some more sleep though. I have been burning the candle at both ends lately and that just doesn't work out so well for me.

So off to bed "early" although I know 11 is not early enough.

Boot Camp

So my first week of Boot Camp down. I am hurting but proud. I am by far the worst in the class, but for some reason it doesn't bother me as much as I thought it might. Today was "Ab" day. We were suppose to start out with 25 sit-ups. I could do none. Yes none. The boot camp guy had to push me up....but insisted just by trying I was making progress. Embarrassing-yes. I was able to do most of the other ab exercises at least a little. I am hurting though. But getting up and working so hard makes me feel good in spirit. I have heard for years the benefit of physical exercise on your mental health. I am seeing it to be so true. I have felt so much more awake these last four days. I fear that I need a program though....that I won't be able to keep it up on my own, but I guess I will cross that bridge when I get to it.

Saturday he is running an extra class to go up the red dot trail. I think I will go but probably will bring the kids and Charlie....that will give me an excuse to lag behind. Plus I think it would be a nice way to start off the day.

So nothing big going on here. I have my cousin's wedding tonight. He is getting married for the third time. But he invited the kids, who can not believe that they get to go to a wedding. So it should be fun.

I am behind on my school work for NEMTEC. I had figured I need to write about 10 lessons a week in order to meet the November deadline. I have been doing about three a week. I need to push myself more. It is hard when the kids are awake. I need to get in a certain mindset and when they interrupt every three minutes I loose focus. At night I am tired. But this is important to me so I should push myself more I guess.

Of American Girl Dolls and DS

For about two solid years Evelyn has wanted an American girl doll and Jack a DS. I waited for a long while to make sure these were true wants and not just a "new thing everyone else has." They continued to want them. The doll was more of a money issue than a parenting one. The DS had me worried because ,as it was when Jack was bored he would read. I was so afraid the DS would takes books place. But in the end they got them. It actually worked out really well. Lots of aunts, uncles, grandparents and friends chipped in so that we could get these gifts for them. So they got something they really wanted. I think it helped them to value the gifts more as well. They took the time to read every name on the card and then thank them afterwards, all on thier own. I was so proud. The fear about the DS was indeed warranted since he has barely stopped playing it for two days. Last night I said to him that I was hoping he would be able to figure out a way to balance the DS in his life. He needed time for eating, playing, reading, running, bike riding, etc. He asked me if I would create a schedule for him. I said no. I told him I want him to figure it out but if it seems like he isn't balancing then I will have to remind him. He said it would be much easier if I just told him what to do......well isn't that the case for us all=) What a mean mom. Hopefully he'll figure it out. I really don't want to be the DS police. That does not sound fun at all.

I love the doll. I have to admit. I have braided its hair twice now. There is something about those over priced, overmarketed dolls. Every woman at the birthday party needed a chance to look at her. I want to get her new clothes. She is a cool doll.

Allison was a good sport. It is hard for her to have a party be about Jack and Evelyn but not her. She did get a "little sister" gift that Evelyn picked out for her "so she didn't feel too sad about not getting gifts". I am never sure if that is the right thing to do. It feels right, but it logically doesn't seem right. It is not her birthday. But she is little and it is hard to live in a house when everyone else has new toys but you....right?

Today was NOT smoothing

Today was rough. The day would have been perfect except my littlest one decided to make it miserable. Let's just say that when she jumped into the waist deep super gross public garden fountain- it was NOT the worst part of the day.

My peace was not in full force but I tried my best.

Smoothing

Evelyn: "it is very smoothing"

Me: "do you mean soothing?"

Evelyn: "SOOTHING is not a word!........no smoothing. Like it is not rough it is smoothing."

So I am hoping for a smoothing day. The transition from school to being back at home as gone fairly well. I was on such a high being at school though and the ho hum- ness of summer vacation days with the kids leaves me wanting a little more. I have had a decent week and proud to say that although dinner has not been stellar I have accomplished more than super Dad Joe did. I guess it should not be a competition and I shouldn't compare, but I did it anyway. I was so afraid he was going to make being home with all of them look easy- becuase I don't think it is- but he didn't he made it look just about as hard as it is. Sure Daddy is more fun, but Mommy has taken them fun places and has been reasonable in her requests. Also the "cleaning room fairy" cleaned their rooms and left a little note for them telling them to enjoy their clean rooms. I am hoping a gesture of kindness will prompt them to care more about their rooms than all the previous nagging and reminding I had been doing. I learned so much at NEMTEC especially how little we need to "be in charge" of children. I know most of it is directed to the classroom teacher but it applies at home as well. So I will try my calm approach of guiding and not leading my children today all through Boston Swan Boat adventure. I already have a headache so we'll see how peaceful I can remain.

I do miss school though. I miss too the groove I was in while there. I still have tons of work to do to meet my November deadlines but I have lost my grove and it is much harder at night now to sit down and write lesson plans that are so painstakingly detailed.

The Tooth

My baby lost her first tooth today. Truly lost it. She apparently swallowed it while eating some goldfish crackers. It is very sad to truly loose your first tooth. The irony is that we were visiting friend's of ours today and Allison's friend was telling the story of how she accidentally swallowed her tooth during her dinner the night before and that the tooth fairy had come last night.

Allison wrote the tooth fairy a note and her sister assured her that the tooth fairy is very nice and understanding. Let's just hope the tooth fairy is on the top of her game tonight......she has been known to forget to come to our house-silly fairy.

And so summer begins

Evelyn's Horse Shoe birthday brownie

Allison "watching" fireworks
My three gymnastists

Now that school is over my summer "vacation" begins. School was more of a vacation than being home with the kids, but of course being with them is wonderful as well. Today we went to Grammie's pool and Allison was brave enough to try some things without a floaty. All the old people at the pool were friendly and happy to see kids (it is hit or miss with the nice old people).

Evelyn is seven now, which is SO hard to believe and Jack will be 9 next week, another impossible reality.

Our Fourth of July party at Jim's was wonderful fun as usual. It wasn't as crowded as in years past so I liked it even more. My niece Jillian thought she could swim and jumped in the pool, followed by her father (fully dressed with an iPhone in his pocket). Jillian is fine the iPhone is not. My newphew James said my name and made my whole day. There were lots of yummy chocolate cookies as well. We came back and watched our nieghbors fire works out the front door.

Right now my kids are all outside. It is bed time and I am sure they are being eaten alive by mosquitos but I think I will let them play a few minutes more. True childhood moments should be respected. They are in the middle of an elaborate game with Billy the kid across the street. There are teams and plans and lots of excitment and everyone in being included, a rare treasure.

I am still on a high from being at NEMTEC. It was so healing to reread all those things that inspire me to be a better teacher, mother and person. Maria Montessori was a cool lady. Trusting the child is such a simple but powerful philosophy. I have fortunantly brought home lots of her philosophy and I can actually see the change in the kids, thier attitude to me, and to eachother. I even like writing lesson plans this time around. It will be a long while until I am a lead teacher but I think when I finally get there in 2011 I will be ready in mind and spirit.

NEMTEC

I am in my second week of NEMTEC. I just love it. I feel like I am on some glorious vacation when I am there in class. I love the people in my class.....well most of them. I love the material we are covering. I especially love that it is the second time around for me. I have a basis of knowledge and now I get to strengthen it. I know people feel bad for me that I have to redo this course. I wish they wouldn't. The way life has unfolded has been a gift not a burden. My children benefited so much from me knowing what and why they were doing the things they were doing. I am so glad that I had that foundation going into motherhood. I don't mind that I never finished. Imagine if I had finished and then taken time off to be home with my babies and now was returning as a lead teacher somewhere? I do remember a lot and the philosophy resonates with my actual soul but I really do need to take the course again. Ten years is a long time. I forget things. Just having to reread all Montessori's texts has been amazing. I am finally a true student too. I don't want to just fulfill a requirement. I actually want to learn this stuff so well that it becomes a part of me. I want to write the lesson plans so well that they become a part of me. I have never been so honestly invested in something before. This is just a wonderful moment in my life.

First Day back

I thought the most challenging thing about going back after vacation would be waking everyone up.  Getting everyone up was easy actually. Allison said she had a stomach ache, I didn't really believe her. Everyone got dressed and ready, except Allison who said her stomach hurt and couldn't get ready- I didn't believe her. Then she said she couldn't eat breakfast because her stomach hurt. I said, "well then you are going to be very hungry today."  On the ride to school Allison said, "my stomach hurts like throwing up sickness".....again I did not believe her......until she threw up in her hands. Then I believed. What a crazy morning ensued with trying to find a last minute child care situation and clean clothes and clean the car.

  If before vacation Allison hadn't said, 'you know vacation is going to make me not want to go back to school. I will want to stay home with you when it ends. I am probably going to scream a lot on Monday when you try and take me to school", I probably would have taken her stomach complaints more serious.

  The rest of the day actually went fairly well. I do miss vacation though.

First Day of Vacation

Day one of April Vacation. I am happy to be a teacher and have this time off.  We went to Dunkies this morning, since I had no food in the house. It was nice sitting there chatting with my kids. The older woman next to us thought I was their babysitter. That made my morning. But the car engine light refused to go out so I drove it to Michael's. I am so glad he is a mechanic I honestly don't know what I would do with  out him. He plugged my car into a nifty little computer that told him that my engine had misfired. He couldn't get it to do it again and chocked it up to a mechanical "hiccup". Not too reassuring but at least it didn't cost my anything. 

 Finally we made it to Stop and Shop and they actually were fine. I couldn't believe it. They were helpful and even bagged the groceries.

  The nieghbor came over and watched a movie with them, Space Buddies-very cute, and then we all went to the freezing cold playground. They had a blast though so I am happy we went. I brought my NEMTEC reading but it was just SO cold. I didn't get too much done. I do love The Discovery of the Child though. I am glad I am forced to read it again. 

 Now back again I should be doing housework but I am instead writing boring blogs. 

 Today was Grandparent and Special friends day at my school. The day was divided into four half hour sections and up to four families could sign up for each slot. It was a steady flow of grandparents, two parents, and a babysitter. The kids were wonderful. It was such a nice experience for the grandparents. I am sure some of them contribute, so it must be nice to see first hand the benefits of Montessori. I am sure also that some are skeptical and  it was wonderful to see their amazement of what these little children were doing. The highlight of the morning was this one mother who came. I am not sure if there was no grandparent or if she just didn't understand the day ,but her child is a quite a special child. She has trouble focusing and has loads of unmanageable energy-BUT when she takes out work she has a calm about her that Maria Montessori would have loved to have seen. The work takes her out of her own ciaos and allows her to feel calm. The mother had never seen her child this way. She had no idea what her little girl was capable of. At times she had tears in her eyes as she sat and watched her daughter. This family had not re-enrolled for next year due to money issues, but today as she was leaving she was going to do her best to find the money to send her next year. I hope she finds it. I can not really explain the transformation that this child undergoes when she takes out the work. It is truly amazing.

  Another child was looking sad, I asked her if anyone was coming and she told me that no, if they brought her grandmother there she would not be able to understand where she was. I felt for the child and at the same time took a moment to pause and be thankful that my own children know all four of their grandparents. What a true and rare gift- one that I may sometimes take for granted.

  When ever I spend time with older people I feel very humble and somewhat reflective. That poem "A hundred Years from now" always pops in my head.

"Flem color chart"

Driving to school this morning Jack tells me that he "throws up into his mouth a lot". So I asked if it was throw up or mucous. He says he has no idea he usually just swallows it. So I ask him to spit it out in a napkin next time because if it is just mucous from a cold that is fine but if it really is throw up we should probably tell the doctor.

  Fast forward seven hours. We are driving back home from school. I no longer remember this morning's conversation. He says, so I made you a "flem chart. I drew some mucous on the cover so that it isn't too boring". He then unrolls a chart and begins to read, " 1st flem color-there is not enough lighting in the boys bathroom so I am not exactly sure if the color I saw was correct. 2nd and 3rd flem colors are exact.". I later saw the chart. It is by far one of my favorite things any of my children has ever created. I am keeping this one for all times sake. 
 That he took my concern so seriously and then charted it both cracks me up and impresses me. 

It  made my day. When finally I saw it and read his phonetic spelling of "egzaktly" I loved it all the more.

Allison's Birthday

Today we celebrated Allison's 5th birthday. Her "real" birthday is tomorrow. Her morning started off well when she saw that I had put new toys on her cake. She has been counting down the days for this party for the last 164....I know because she asks every morning "how many days till my birthday."  She had nine friends come to her mermaid party. It went pretty well. The kids are all super sweet and I feel so lucky that my children have such nice peers. Some of the kids  seemed so tiny. It was amazing how much pizza they all ate. Joe lead them all on a fun treasure hunt complete with a cute rhyme he wrote and I was pleased that my Mermaids in the Water version of Ring Around the Rosie was such a hit. Allison proved to be a nice little hostess as well. After the kid party....well after a two hour break...we hosted the family party. We have a lot of cousins now! My house seemed so loud with all the people here, but I really enjoy hosting these things- they somehow add life to the house. 

  I can't quite wrap my head around Allison turning five. The last five years in my life have been the most trying and ultimately the most important, and oddly the most wonderful. I always feel somewhat "off" on Allison's birthday. I usually like to retreat a bit. It was a pivotal day in my life. In any case Evelyn is sick. Poor thing got a fever at the end of the family party. I already called in to work to let them know I would be out tomorrow. I can't say that I am disappointed. I think it will be nice to have a day off to just be home, on Allison's birthday.

Good news

Lately there has been a flood of bad news in my days. The news for all has been deary with the economy. I know of lots of people out of work. There has been work trouble, sick cousins, and friends have past away. It has been a bit deary. But in admist it all Evleyn has been slowly getting better. She has a stomach infection and possible ulcers that have been making her feel miserable for a long time. The medication is working and my daughter laughes on the car ride home from school now! She is smiling more and dancing more and barely complaining. Best of all her whole mood and life outlook has improved.  So she has been the bright light in all the grey lately, and for that I am thankful.

Professional Day

Today the teachers  had a day with out the kids. In the morning we had a much needed Epi-pen/allergy course by the head nurse in Canton Public schools. I feel much more informed and prepared to deal with the allergies in my room.....and the allergies of my own children' friends. Plus I just love medical stuff. 

 Then we had a woman come in to talk to us about "the challenging child". I honestly thought is was going to be a waste of my time. I am not a huge fan of main stream "child behavior" tips. But this woman was wonderful. She had sound advice that resonated well, about putting kindness first and modeling the very traits you wish the child had. It was a restful day all and all.

 I am now looking forward to the  weekend.

 

Mush

Today we took the kids to a free snow dog mushing demonstration. They got to ride in a sled. The ticket said "a short ride", which was very true BUT Allison got off the ride and said it was "the best thing of my life". Evelyn was in her glory. Not only could you ride a snow mushing sled but you could hang out with the dogs, pat them, and pretend to mush your own sled.  To top off the terrific-ness of it all it was almost 50 out. It was just a really nice day to be outside and be a family.

Snowy days

Today was a wonderful snow day. We hung out, I cleaned, did lots of laundry and played board games. Jack used his cooking class skills and made some pretty decent double chocolate chip cookies. Mostly it was a nice day for thinking. Everyone was so aware that it was a bonus rest day. Snow days are like that. Meeting House rarely calls school off. In fact in the six years I have been there I do not remember ever having a snow day-so this day off was all the more special.

 For many years now I have tried not to "be judgemental". It has plagued me though, because I do judge people,situation and ideas. I do and then I feel like "one of those judgemental people", that I so dislike. While folding laundry today I was once again pondering how I jump to judgements and trying to sort out how not to do that when I had an ah-ha moment. To judge is a human instinct of sorts. We need to judge situations, and to some degree people. A judgement is really just an estimation...something you need to go on, to make the next decision. I then decided it is impossible to think that someday I will not "jump to a judgement" of a person or situation. I realized that what is wrong is not that original judgement but constraining your opinion to that original judgement. Make your judgement and then sit back and observe to see how valid it is, or ponder it a bit more and see how well it holds up. This is probably not really news to most, but it was a thought process I was proud of today. 

 In other news the kids stayed in all day until it was raining and starting to get dark when they decided it was the perfect time to go out and play. They had a blast. There is something to be said about going out when it doesn't make sense.

bad luck days

Lately Jack has been somewhat fixated on whether a day was a "good luck day" or a "bad luck day".  I try to be empathetic for his need to compartmentalize things but it honestly drives me crazy. I keep trying to talk to him about "good moments and bad moments", how it is unfair to label a whole day as good or bad. Then today hit and I was forced to truly think about my little life wisdom's I had been trying to pass down to my son. I had a "bad day". Allison woke up at 2:30 sick, so I have been up since then. Evelyn woke up around 5 with horrible croup and we had to keep sticking her head out in the cold air so she could breathe.  Joe and I had to do the "who is going to miss work" thing this morning. I was the one to go to work. My favorite travel coffee mug cracked, or something, and I poured  my coffee all over my lap while driving; some sort of accident cause my road  to be closed and re-routed but I didn't have the phone number to my school to call and say I would be late; I was 30 minutes late; I then had to tell my boss I wouldn't be in tomorrow and try and set up a class room in five minutes. A variety of other not so pleasant things continued to happen culminating in a massive migraine that is now fading thanks to Advil. So today when I picked up Jack and he asked me if I was having a "good luck day or bad luck day" I had to actually think before I gave my little speech about not labeling the whole day. In thinking I realized that I too could be reduced to declaring the whole day bad- but that really isn't fair to the good things that happened today. The good things were small but wonderful. I told Jack all this and for the first time he listened. He then said, " I was thinking I was having a bad luck day but now I see I get the whole car ride home with just you, so maybe it is a good luck day".....moments later he realized he was super hungry and without a snack and officially declared it a bad luck day. Just now going to bed he hugged me and said "I love you mommy".............and so I, somewhat sappily, declare it a "good luck day".

The Guinea Pig's Nails

So once a month or so I have to cut the guinea pig's nails. Apparently if she were out in the wild they would wear down but since she lives her posh cage life she needs manicures. To think I thought cutting a swirmy toddler's nails was difficult. It does not compare to Cutie. But it is done now for another 5 weeks. Thankgoodness I did not persue a career in vetrinarian medicine, like I once wanted. I do not think I was cut out for it. The combination of thinking I am going to hurt the critter and thinking the little critter is going to bite me is not something I feel comfortable with.

  On other more serious news there are many a sad things happen in my periphery. Fortunantly not too close but close enough that I feel this heavy sadness.  Truely we are lucky at each moment that nothing horrible is happening. So I will focus on how lucky I am that I have what I have today....even if what I have starts to annoy me.

Some nice photos I feel like sharing

This is my Christmas tree this year-note the "beautiful" garland, Jack and Evelyn with the newest Ryan member- Karina, and Charlie dressed up for Christmas.

The Best Snow Day ever

Today my kids had school....but I did not! My head of school decided the weather predictions were too "dire" (imagine how cute he sounded saying that with his British accent) and canceled school. I have not been alone, except a few car rides, in longer than I can remember. I came back to a quiet house. Ate breakfast infront of the tv! and then took a nap. It was just so wonderful I am still on a high from it. I did not utter a single word for almost three hours. 

  I am also very much enjoying at book called Yearnings: embracing the messiness of life....or something like that. It is written by a rabbi. It is one of, if not, the best "religious" books I have ever read. It is speaking to me in ways that I needed.

  Also I have been watching the series Dead Like Me. I am not sure the point of it, nor am I sure if I "like" it but I can't help waiting to see what is going to happen next. Plus it does remind me that life is fragile.